Nod If You Can Hear Me
by Stencil Your Heart
Summary: The boys' thoughts as they see Ray Brower's body. No longer a oneshot! Rating for language. COMPLETE!
1. Teddy REVISED!

**Disclaimer: Sad to say I don't own Stand By Me, Teddy Duchamp/Corey Feldman, etc. etc. Would I be writing this if I did?**

Teddy's thoughts as he sees Ray Brower's body. Just something short I wrote for an English II project.

**REVISED!** I wasn't sure if Teddy's chapter tied in with Vern's enough, and I wanted to give a bit more insight into his character, so I rewrote this chapter. PLEASE LET ME KNOW if you prefer the first one. Thanks guys, hope you like it:)

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I, Teddy Duchamp, have never been afraid of anything. Train dodges? No problem. Illegally scaling a junk yard fence? Why not. But as I stand here now, looking at that dead Brower kid… the way his eyes sort of sink back into their sockets... I'm damn near about to shit myself. 

When we left home yesterday, I thought we were just going to bring him back and, you know, get our pictures in the paper and what not, maybe get a nice shiny little medal or something. We were supposed to be heroes.

I'm not supposed to feel sorry for the kid. Get there, get the kid, and get out. That was how it was supposed to go. But he looks so… cold… so dead… I mean, the kid was only a year or so older than us. What if that had been Chris? Or Gordie? Or hell, even Vern? We wouldn't be trying to get something out of this if it was someone we knew, would we? Hell no, you don't do that to your friends.

I wonder if the kid had any friends. I'm sure he did; everyone has friends, right? I wonder if they'll cry at his funeral… Is he even going to have one at all? Will they clean him up first? His parents probably don't want to see him all cut up and shit…

Chris just told me and Vern to build him a stretcher. What are we supposed to hold this thing together with, Bazooka? Well it's not like we could just toss him over our shoulders or something and carry him all the way back. Shit, man, he's a person not a sleeping bag.

Oh great, now Gordie's crying. I wish he wouldn't do that. It kind of makes me want to cry too, though, you know? The kid never even made it to junior high. He'll never smoke another pack of Winston's or play another game of Scat. Hell, I don't even know if he liked Scat or smoked Winston's. What am I talking about? Everyone smokes Winston's. I think my eyes are watering. Oh shit, Vern's staring at me. If he asks, I'll just tell him I poked myself in the eye with a stick. Yeah.

Man, what would my dad say if he saw this? If he knew I wanted to cry?

I can almost hear him. "Toughen up, Ted! Soldiers don't cry! What are you gonna do on the battlefield if one of your buddies gets his fucking head blown off, huh? You gonna cry then, too?"

And then I'd probably get a beating or something, but I'd rather leave that part out. He always did that... knocked me around, I mean. But just to toughen me up, you know? You've gotta be tough if you wanna make it as a soldier.

As if things couldn't get any worse, here comes Ace. That's it, we're gonna die. Words are spilling out of my mouth before I even know what I'm saying. I think I'm making fun of Billy Tessio. Oh yeah, we're definitely gonna die.

Chambers needs to get his ass out of there, right now. Who just stands around when someone's got a switchblade in their hand? And they call me crazy!

I'm watching Gordie standing there with that pistol in his hand. I never even saw him pick it up. I think Ace is scared. Ha, who would have thought half-starved Gordie Lachance could scare resident town badass Ace Merril? I wonder if Gordie is really going to shoot him. The whole scene is playing right in front of my eyes like one of those silent black and white movies. Everything is happening in slow motion. Ace is walking away, I think…

I ask Gordie if we're going to take the body. He says no. I'm trying not to show that I'm relieved (and I don't mean I just pissed, either). The kid… Ray… he deserves better than being hauled into the police station on sticks and leaves.

Vern's staring at me again. He really needs to cut that out, man. It's like he's trying to read me or something. He's trying to see if I'm scared, if I want to cry. Well screw you, Vern!

I fling my hand in front of his face, say "Two for flinching!" and hit him in the arm twice. Rubbing his shoulder, he grins and pats me on the back.

I'm not scared, Vern. I'm not. Teddy Duchamp is not scared. Teddy Duchamp does not want to cry. Teddy Duchamp is a soldier, damnit.

Are you proud of me yet, Dad?

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**Oneshot? **I haven't decided yet. I might do more chapters for Gordie, Chris, and Vern. This just sort of came up as an English essay, so… But I apologize for anything that may have been out of character. It's hard getting into the mind of a twelve year old boy, haha. 

**Reviews? **Are very very much appreciated! Love it, hate it, I want to know:)


	2. Vern

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Still. –sigh-**

No longer a oneshot, thanks to all the wonderful reviews! I love you guys!

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**Chapter two: Vern**

I can't breathe. I know the air is there; I can feel it. It feels like my mouth is hanging clear down to my feet (which isn't saying much, actually, since I'm a pretty short guy). My chest is hurting. I need the air, I know I do, but I just can't move. Maybe it's because I know Ray can't breathe either.

You know this one time when I was little, like, I don't know, six or seven or whatever, my Great Uncle Vernon (yeah, I was named after him) died from a massive heart attack or something. Real quick, too; they said he was dead before he hit the floor!

My mom wouldn't let me go to his funeral. She said it would traumatize me or some shit, and that she and my dad couldn't pay for therapy. Go figure. Anyway, I remember Mom got all dressed up in her Sunday clothes, and Dad put on the tie I got him for his birthday. They said you're supposed to look "respectful" at funerals. But I mean, when you're dead, you don't really care what people dress like, do you?

When they got back, Mom said Uncle Vernon looked peaceful, like he was sleeping. I used to think all dead people looked like that. That's what death is, right? Just a big never ending sleep? Ray doesn't look like he's sleeping. He doesn't look peaceful. He looks dead.

I feel dead, too. I know I'm not, though, cause I'm busy getting sticks and stuff for a stretcher, just like Chris told me to. God, I hope they don't make me touch him…

Teddy looks awful pale. Is he crying? I think he's crying. Oh shit, he is! Nah, he probably just poked himself in the eye with a stick. After all, Teddy doesn't cry. That's pussy.

Gordie's crying, too, I think. Oh geez, am I the only one who's not going soft around here? But I think we all kind of expected it from Gordie. You know, with his brother and all…

They expect me to cry too. They all just think I'm some big moron who's scared of spiders and closet doors (you never know what's behind those things!). Maybe I am those things. But I brought them out here, didn't I? This was my idea! They wouldn't have even known Ray was here if it wasn't for me!

Oh shit. Is that Ace? That's Ace! Oh shit! Billy knows I found out… He's gonna hide me! Oh shit!

I'm running. Running, just like they expect me to. They know I'm scared. I know they're scared. Hell, we're all scared. Ray would be scared, too, if he wasn't… well… you know… dead.

Ace is gonna kill him! He's gonna kill Chris! Oh man, oh man, this is bad, sincerely. Wait, is that Gordie? With a gun? Gordie Lachance with a GUN? Is he gonna kill Ace? That'd be pretty boss. Except then Gordie would go to jail and stuff… That would suck.

I think Ace is leaving. Yeah, yeah, Billy's leaving too! Oh man, that was close.

So here we are, staring at Ray's body again. And just like before, I can't breathe. My knees feel weak and I think I'm going to faint. I won't. No way. I won't give them another reason to rank on me.

It sucks, you know? Being just "the fat kid", I mean. I'm always the butt of everyone's jokes. They think it doesn't hurt, but they're wrong. Yeah, I know I'm fat, but still… I mean, I laugh along with it and stuff, but sometimes… sometimes it just hurts.

I wonder if people ever picked on Ray. Did he sit with the cool kids at lunch or with the losers? Did he play on the football team or in the band? Did anyone ever push him into a trash can, or shove him in his locker? I guess I'll never know.

Gordie says we're not going to take him. To be honest, I don't want to. Not because I don't want to touch him or anything (even though I really don't), just because… because he doesn't deserve that. No one deserves that.

I look up and for less than a second, my eyes meet Teddy's. I know he knows. They all know. They know I can't breathe. They know I'm about to piss myself. They know I want to cry. They know everything.

But I'm not going to cry. Not here, not on the way home, not in front of the guys. I won't let them see me cry. I won't. I can't.

We're leaving, now. Leaving Ray, leaving the back Harlow Road, leaving all this behind. I look back, almost half-expecting to see Ray stand up and say goodbye. I know he won't. He can't.

Teddy's hand just flew in front of my face.

"Two for flinching." He says, smirking, and punches me in the arm twice.

And just like that, I can breathe again.

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Wow, it was really hard to write this part. I think Vern's actually a really complex character, so I tried to explore that a little without making him seem too out of character. I was trying not to add in any extra scenes or anything that weren't in the movie, but I couldn't resist that little bit at the end. Hopefully everything came out okay. :)

**Reviews? **As always! I love hearing from you guys. It's great knowing you guys like this. And even if you don't, I want to know. Can't improve if I don't know what I'm doing wrong, right?

Hope you guys enjoyed this part. Thanks for reading!


	3. Gordie

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The end. :(**

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Chapter Three: Gordie

There is nothing glamorous about a dead body.

You can watch those old war movies, the ones where the soldiers die some big, heroic death, but it's not like that in real life. It's not even romantic like in Romeo and Juliet when they died to be together. Sorry, Shakespeare.

Movies and books and plays can glam up anything. They can make going to the bathroom look appealing if they wanted to.

They don't tell you how you're going to feel when you look into someone's dead eyes. They don't show you the unnatural angle their leg can stick out at, or how completely mutilated they can look. They don't tell you that when you die, you don't look handsome or sexy or beautiful. You just look dead.

How will Ray's parents react when they see him? Will his mom and dad start crying like mine did when they saw Denny after the accident? Will they be mad at God? Does he have a little brother? I wonder if he would cry at Ray's funeral.

I didn't cry at Denny's. I wanted to, just like I want to cry right now, but I didn't. I couldn't.

Denny… he was my brother. Well, obviously he was, but he was my friend, too. He was the only person in this god forsaken world who actually gave a shit if I lived or died. He'd always let me read him my stories, and say how good they were. He didn't just say it cause he was my big brother and knew that's what I wanted to hear, either. He meant it. Denny always meant it.

I wonder if Ray's brother (if he has one) writes stories. I wonder if, now that Ray's gone, his parents will treat his little brother the way mine treat me. I wonder if his dad will hate him, say that Ray wasn't the brother who should have died…

It should have been me. I know it. Everyone knows it. My dad… he hates me. He knows it should have been me. He'd never say it, but he knows. Chris says I'm wrong. He says that my dad just doesn't know me. He's wrong. My dad hates me. I know it.

But I can't help thinking that maybe nobody really knows anything. I mean, the people back in town, they all think Chris is some lowlife, just because he kind of stole the milk money that time, and because of his dad…. But they don't know he tried to give that money back! They don't know anything! All those wetends know is his last name. They know he's a Chambers, so they give him dirty looks and hide their wallets and purses when he walks by. They judge him because they don't know.

And Teddy... he worships his dad who pratically fucking killed him. We all think he's crazy; everyone does. We think that because we don't know. Teddy has his reasons, but he doesn't talk about them, and no one ever asks. Maybe no one cares enough. I don't know. Nobody does.

"Well would you look what we have here."

Ace? Why is he here? Shit, this is bad. A knife? To Chris' throat! He wants to take the body! He wants to take Ray… just like how he took Denny's cap from me… just like that…

The gun is right there. All I have to do is reach over, just a little bit, and I can get it. All I would have to do is point and shoot, and it'd be over, just like that. They wouldn't take him, not without Ace. They won't do anything without Ace.

_BANG!_

One shot in the air and they all shit themselves. Oh how quickly the tables turn.

I tell Ace not to move. I know he won't. He's not stupid.

"Just give me the gun, kid."

Give you the gun? GIVE YOU THE GUN? Does he think I'm writing my own suicide note here? I take back what I said about him not being stupid. He is obviously an idiot.

I will shoot him, I swear to God, and I let him know that. They're not taking him. Nobody is taking him.

"Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood."

I don't yell at him, though. I don't have to.

Ace is leaving, but not before saying he's going to get us back for this. I don't care. He can't hurt me. Not anymore, at least.

Chris breathes a sigh of relief and claps me on the shoulder as I lower the gun.

"Who ever told you you had a fat one, Lachance?" he asks, raising an eyebrow in his typical Chris Chambers fashion.

"Biggest one in four counties." I say, grinning. What? It's true.

He rolls his eyes and heads back over to the body. The body… like Ray isn't even a person anymore. He's just "a body".

Teddy asks if we're taking him, and I say no. I think they already knew we weren't taking him. They know it's the right thing to do. They know.

We cover up the body and turn to leave. I half-heartedly wonder if we would have been better off just going to those damn drag races and never bothering with Ray and his body. But as I think about it, about the train dodge and the junk yard and Ace Merril, I know we're better off. I guess sometimes you just... know.

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I am so, so sorry it took this long to get this chapter out. I've been busy, and had some writer's block on this chapter. Hopefully it came out okay. :)

**Reviews? **As always! Love it or hate it, your feedback is very much appreciated.


	4. Chris

**Disclaimer: Four chapters later, I still own nothing. :(**

This is the last chapter, guys! I hope you enjoy it!

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**Chapter Four: Chris**

We're not supposed to be doing this. Normal twelve year old boys aren't supposed to know what a real dead body looks like. We're not supposed to touch dead skin, or stare into eyes that don't have life in them anymore. We're not supposed to be here.

There's an awkward sort of silence between us guys. I think everyone wants to know what everyone else is thinking, but no one is going to speak. We can't.

The air's so thick it's practically choking us. Well, me at least. I guess I can't really speak –erm, _think –_ for the other guys.

I don't like this. I don't like the look in Ray's eyes, or the expression on his face. I don't want to be here anymore.

When I really get to thinking about it, Ray kind of reminds me of my mom. I mean, aside from the fact that's she's a girl and everything. But really, I'm mean, just the way his face is right now… he has that look. It's some kind of weird mixture of things… terror… disgust… It's the same kind of look my mom used to get when my dad knocked me and Eyeball around. She doesn't get that look anymore.

She used to scream at him to try and get him to stop. _"You're hurting them! You're going to kill them!" _It was always the same thing, over and over. He never stopped. Usually he just turned around and hit her too. She doesn't scream at him anymore. She doesn't say anything.

But what was Ray going to do anyway? Yell "Stop train; you're going to kill me!"? Hell, for all I know he never even saw the train coming. Or maybe he just didn't care.

I can't say I would blame him… for not caring, I mean. You can't really blame some body for wanting to get away, can you? He could've just stood right there on those tracks, _right there_, and just… waited.

Soon enough everyone will forget all about Ray Brower. He'll just be "that kid that got hit by a train". But what if Ray didn't want to be remembered? Just another name etched in stone…

"Why did he have to die, Chris?"

What? Oh, Gordie…

"Why did Denny have to die?"

Gordie... don't do that. Don't ask me that question. You know I don't know the answer. No one does.

"He hates me. My dad hates me."

You think he hates you? No, he doesn't hate you. How could anyone ever hate you? No… he just doesn't know you. Just doesn't know you…

"It should have been me."

It takes me a minute to realize that he's not asking me, he's _telling _me. Do you want to get away too, Gordie? No, don't say that. Please. Don't ever say that…

You know you're going to be something great one day, Gordie, and so do we. And maybe sometimes we wish you wouldn't, because we don't want you to forget us. But we know you're going to be a writer, and you're going to win awards, and everyone's going to love your work. And maybe if we're lucky, you'll write about us one day, and we'll know you didn't forget.

"Holy shit! It's my little brother!"

Oh fuck.

Don't do this, Ace. _We found him first. _Don't touch the body. _We've got dibs._

You think your knife is going to scare me?

"You're going to have to kill me, Ace."

Go ahead. You'd be doing me a favor.

"No problem."

_BANG!_

Gordie?

You always do that, Gordie. You always have to save me. Well what if I didn't want to be saved?

"Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood."

A snake will always think it has you running scared until you threaten to blow its head off.

"We're going to get you for this."

"Maybe you will and maybe you won't."

"Oh, we will. This is big time, baby."

Don't even bother, Ace. Just… don't even.

I sigh and raise an eyebrow. "Who ever told you you had a fat one, Lachance?"

Gordie gives me that big, toothy Gordie Lachance smile. "Biggest one in four counties." He says, still grinning.

Thank you for saving me, Gordie. _Thank you._

He says we aren't going to take Ray's body. I'm glad, and I wonder if the other guys can tell. I don't care anymore. They're relieved too. I know they are.

We cover up the body and head back the way we came. No one's saying anything, and I guess everyone's just kind of caught up in themselves. Maybe we should have just camped out in Vern's back field and hung out at the drag races like we told our folks we were going to. That's the kind of thing normal twelve year old boys are supposed to do, not dodge trains or go searching for dead bodies. But I guess most guys our age don't bury pennies under their porch, or have their dad almost burn their ear off, or any of those things that just seem so ordinary to us.

Oh well, we just aren't normal I guess.

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It's DONE! I'm so, so happy! This is actually the first piece of writing I've ever posted and finished, so I'm really proud. :)

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**Passionate Fire** – Thank you for being my first reviewer! I'm glad you liked it!

**Doc's Cowgirl **– haha, you think this is brilliant? Well thank you! I'm glad you like it!

**KL inc **– You're such a consistent reviewer, thank you thank you thank you! The Cobras really do just follow Ace around like he's a ringleader or something. I'm glad you mentioned how I linked the baseball cap; I wasn't sure if anyone would notice, haha. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**xoborogrlxo **– You've also been a consistent reviewer, thank you so much! I could really picture Vern being scared of all those things (I mean come on, that's so Vern) and then just playing along when people picked on him, hiding the fact that it really hurt. He's kind of like a representation of every kid who's ever gotten picked on, you know? But I'm so glad you've enjoyed this, and I hope this chapter was to your liking. Take care!

**susie q **– Thank you, believable is exactly what I was going for. :)

**Summer's Almost Gone **– Thanks for reviewing! It's tough sometimes to stay true to the characters and the way they're portrayed in the film while trying to prod around in their minds at the same time. I'm glad you thought I did a good job. Thanks again:)

**JJAH **– Aw, I'm sorry I have to end it here. I am going to start something else very soon, so keep an eye out. ;) Thanks for reviewing!

**SamSammySamantha **– haha, I'm touched that you would take time away from doing laundry and showering just to check out my update. I think you're right, it might be "wet-end" instead of "wetend" my Microsoft Word shows both as wrong, though (yeah, I'm a bit of a grammar freak, so I checked, haha). But no, you're not crazy. :) Thanks for reviewing!

**Pickle** – Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad it kept you captivated.

**Lizzy **– Thank you so, so much. That's such a good compliment that you gave me. It definitely made my day. Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you've enjoyed this!

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Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. And to everyone who read but didn't review, thank you too. You guys are seriously so awesome; I love you all to death. Take care! 


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